April 21, 2013

My Portion is the Lord

Since I have been invited to post for Roman Catholic Spiritual Direction, I have been in conversation with friends and students about continuing the mission of this blog -- which is meant to encourage a new beginning of prayer in our lives. Prayer does not offer an escape from trials or the difficulties of our time - it offers a way to face them with hope, the hope we have from God.   To help keep this important discussion going, we will be blessed by several different guest bloggers from a variety of different walks of life who offer their reflections to this end.  
 
The following post is a reflection on the reason for our hope by +Amanda Rose  - a single mom and faithful Catholic who lives in Florida. Amanda writes spiritual reflections at www.LittleStepsAlongTheWay.com : 


My portion is the Lord, says my soul; therefore will I hope in Him
Lamentations 3:24

My portion is not a small part of something larger. My Portion is All. My portion is my Creator and my Savior. He cannot give only part of Himself to me. He cannot divide Himself. He gives generously. He gives all.

Yes, my portion - set aside specially and specifically for me - it is the Lord. He has given all for me on the Cross and He continues to give all to me in the Eucharist. He does not share only part of Himself, He does not hold back a portion of Himself from loving, from expressing His love for us. The Eternal Spirit was even willing to limit Himself within skin and bones to show me His love, to touch me in love. And He continues to humble Himself, to give Himself to us so vulnerably in the Eucharist. Therefore, I hope.

I hope when my mind says I shouldn’t. I hope while the tears run down my cheeks. I hope when I cannot hold back the sobs of disappointment, grief and exhaustion.  Even when I doubt, my souls sings “my portion is the Lord."

I cling to this truth.

The song is written in our hearts, whether we hear it or not, whether or not we can see the notes to sing along. The thoughts can crash so loudly that they drown out the song of the soul, and so I must work to remember. I struggle within myself to remember the beauty of the song when my intellect does not understand, when my emotions overflow with anguish.

The cup I drink from at the moment may taste bitter, it may burn as I swallow down the contents of the day, of the moment, but my portion is still my God and He is good.

No matter what I feel, what I see - I know that He is good. He is my portion, and so I am able to hope, so I choose to hope even when I feel hopeless. I decide to hope when my thoughts assail me with doubts, with grief.

 My soul has known the Truth, the Truth that has and will continue to set me free. My soul hopes and savors the memory of the Portion who is All. My Portion, my All, the Three-in-One and One-in-Three.

Thank you, Lord, for being my All, my Generous Portion, my Hope.